Finished

Seven years ago, I prayed that God would give me direction in a career path. I was a scared high school senior searching for His will in my life. I prayed this prayer earnestly, and after some time I received his very clear direction. I would become a psychologist.


At the time, I had no idea what that would entail. I didn't know how uncertain my future would be, or that these would be the most trying times of my life. I didn't know that it would take eight years to complete His plan. It is better that I didn't know. If I had known in advance, I wouldn't have completed this journey.


It turns out that God knows best. Did you know that? Apparently it is a lesson that I must learn again and again. Throughout this internship application process, I have prayed the prayer "Put me where you want me." I didn't ask to match. I didn't ask to be placed in a certain position. Instead, I did the thing that is the hardest for me: I turned over control of my life to God. During the pain and uncertainty of the past few days I asked "Why? I am following Your plan for my life. Why are You allowing this to happen?" I heard him answer with that still, small voice. "I have brought you this far. I will not leave you now."


The internship site that I got is, quite frankly, perfect for me. Is it exactly what I imagined? No. But I will have great training and will get to work in the area that I love. I will only move 30 some odd miles from my own home. I will not miss out on a year of my niece and nephews' lives. I will not miss the familiar comforts of my family and friends. I will not have to wait a year to really begin my career. I am in the exact area that I want to practice. This is, and feels, right. You know, God-right. Not Tessa-right.


To those of you who have read my whining and fears over the last months, I thank you for sticking with me. For those of you who have prayed for me and encouraged me on this blog and through email, I want you to know how much that has meant to me. It has been so nice to have the outlet of a fairly anonymous blog where people who were objective and not too close to the situation could offer opinions and encouragement. Thank you, thank you, and may God bless you indeed.


Has this path been worth it? YES. Going down God's path is always worth it. Always. Further, I really, truly enjoy what I do. It is so fulfilling and deeply rewarding. I have the privilege of getting to help people. Every day, I reach out to those who are hurting and try to ease their pain. I hope that someday I can learn to love people in the way that Jesus did during his ministry here on Earth.


Praise to the Giver of all things!