How to Spend $4.14 at J.C. Penney for 4 Items

Step One: Scan the store for any of those green 75% off signs. Hint: Look up and look for the green!

Step Two: Locate a cute printed hoodie shirt for $1.97, a black striped button down shirt (part of a gift) for $3.97, a dark denim pencil skirt for $3.97, and a brown pencil skirt for $3.97.

Step Three: Locate a cash register upstairs in the undergarments section where it is not busy. Smile when the clerk notes that your items are a great deal. Produce a $10 off any purchase coupon and smile more when the clerk notes that the items are really a good deal now. Fail to notice that the clerk has left the INK security tag on the shirt you intend to give as a gift.

Step Four: Pay via your debit card because you had to use a MasterCard for this coupon. Laugh in the face of the credit industry. Note that your receipt says that you saved $120.12 on your purchase today. Guffaw at the thought of spending full price at J.C. Penney.

Step Five: Arrive home (an hour away from the store) and note that the shirt you intend to give for a gift (along with a giftcard to Express) still has the stupid ink-releasing security tag on it. Try to pry it off for a while before realizing that is REALLY not a good idea. Decide you'll figure out what to do about it later.

Step Six: Lament the fact that your camera cord is not working and that you are unable to show the world your great purchase. Blog about it with words only.